I think it’s time I give some credit where credit is due. One of the biggest turning points in my not being simply defeated by this recent revelation anymore was a post by Beauty Beyond Bones. If you’ve never read her blog, you should absolutely go check it out. She’s got some truly wonderful stuff on there. Her post about her identity being stolen from a few weeks back especially. That post helped me so much. It was exactly what I needed to hear, exactly when I needed to hear it. Perfection.
God does that kind of thing with me a lot. So long as I allow it. I think that’s something a lot of people miss. It’s not just when you’re running away and acting like an idiot that it becomes nearly impossible to hear God’s voice, but it’s also pretty impossible when you’ve told him “no.” Jesus stands at the door and knocks, but he won’t just barge in, uninvited. If you tell him to shut it, you’ve closed off your heart to him, and that means no more hearing from him. Basically, you force him to shout from rooftops, which is exactly as embarrassing as it sounds like it would be (if you hadn’t noticed.) Consciously, I wish to avoid such things. Realistically, I force him to do just that more often than I would care to admit. This was almost one such occurrence.
Her post wasn’t shouting, and I don’t think her identity was stolen solely for the benefit of me reading that post and hearing what God was telling me through it. That’s dumb. I do think that’s just one of the endless examples of him using everything for our good in the end. Her crappy situation gave rise to a powerful post which ultimately helped to awaken my inner phoenix. (Her name is Maleficent, in case you wondering. Yes, after the Disney character.)
I was a still smoldering pile of ash when I read that. The devil set fire to my life something fierce. And I felt I could do nothing more than sit there and watch it burn. Yes, I was safe in my Father’s arms, but nothing else was. I would have gladly traded my safety for that of my loved one, but that wasn’t an option. So I fell into my Daddy’s arms… and never got up again. God wants us to rely on him, that’s an absolute fact, but he doesn’t want us to be so defeated that he has to use us either not at all or as a puppet hanging wearily from it’s strings. That’s never his plan for anyone.
So he kept giving me strength, honing in on the focus and determination he’d gifted me with previously. He spoke softly to me and fought on my behalf. There was a season for grieving, yes, but the time had come to get up and fight. But I was standing down. Refusing to engage.
That is no longer the case. Maleficent has risen up within me once more. I’ve gotten up, God’s dusted me off, and I’m ready to fight. The time for battle in this realm has not yet come, but I know I’ll be ready when it does. I’m gathering every resource I can to be ready for the time when I enter that fray. The battle in the spiritual realm rages. I know I’m not quite front lines ready yet, but I keep trying. Learning all I can, pulling on ever greater reserves of strength, perseverance and power from my Father. I don’t know how exactly I’ll be asked to fight in the physical realm. I’m still getting my bearings on putting up the fierce showing I am capable of in the spiritual. I don’t know when this will all end. Have no way of knowing when the dust will finally settle and it will all be over. What do I know, is who the victors will be.
PS The clip is in Thai, as it’s the only one I can find. If you want to know what’s being said, do yourself a favor and just watch the whole movie 😉